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4. bullying

Imma let Lumpy Space Princess introduce this post.


That’s right, guys. DRAMA BOMB.

Well, not really. Well, sorta. Today I'm gonna talk a little bit about bullying.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past few decades, you know that bullying is a really serious problem amongst humans, especially younger ones. We are so afraid of people that are different than us or threaten us in some way. Our brains, unfortunately, are wired that way, and it’s hard to avoid being the type of person that ostracizes someone else at some point in your life. At some point, we are all the bad guy.

To be clear: that doesn’t make it okay, or right; women used to die constantly during childbirth because our bodies evolved in a really stupid way for that activity, but then we did something about it and now medicine keeps more shorty-droppin’ ladies alive.


So that they can live on to be smug about their perfect life and pity your Lean Cuisine® and Lime-a-Rita life.

Bullying is sometimes hard to pinpoint because, like people, it is full of diversity. And sometimes you don’t even know you’re being bullied until it’s too late. It wasn’t until this past year, well into my late-20s, that I realized that I was bullied quite a bit in my high school theatre department (You’d think that something like getting called “Fatsy” while playing the role of “Patsy” in Crazy for You by my rival’s boyfriend in front of a whole group of my peers would have qualified as bullying in my mind, but alas). I thought it was just healthy competition, but instances like that and others made me bitter and aloof in the department; eventually I had a falling out with the faculty and quit, thereby completely derailing all of my plans of being a professional actress. I’m only just now picking up the pieces and trying again.

All things considered, though, I’m one of the really, really lucky ones. No one had Facebook and other social media to use to torture me. No one ever poured unspeakably horrible things on my head. No one ever told me that I should kill myself. No one ever tried to kill me.

There are kids that have to deal with those kind of things every damn day. Especially LGBTQ kids. And a lot of them don’t even have a family to go to for protection.

Rolling Stone published an article earlier this month about the alarming rate of LGBTQ youths that are homeless in this country. It is a beautiful and horribly sad account, and well worth your time to read.

Multiple studies have indicated a strong link between bullying and suicide, especially in girls aged 10-14.

This is a part of our evolution that is literally killing us and needs to be taken more seriously than it is, by everyone. If we can figure out a way to keep women from dying so much when they’re shooting out those screaming lumps of crotch phlegm- er, I mean, beautiful bundles of joy, we can figure out a way to get rid of bullying.

In the meantime, we can take baby steps:

  • If there are young people in your life that look up to you and respect you, be a good example for them to follow; be kind to others, try to think the best of everyone, be a positive force in their life. In other words, refrain from dissing that bitch Claire in Accounting in front of them, and maybe they will never think that it’s ok to talk badly about people when they aren’t around.

  • Get them books and other media that will educate and empower them. A Mighty Girl is an enormously excellent resource for such things, and not just for girls.

  • The It Gets Better campaign is another great way for teens to see that there is in fact a light at the end of the tunnel, if they can hold on until they’re able to change their situation.

  • If you know people who work or volunteer in youth shelters, share with them this document that outlines how we can make our shelters safer for people who are trans.

Thanks for reading. Sorry this post wasn’t very funny.

Play me off, LSP!


Bye for now.


p.s. who wouldn't want to slump up on those lumps

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